Pick o' the Day: Possible Titles for My Autobiography

So I'm kicking around some possible titles for my autobiography, and these are what I have come up with so far:

     One Ear Was Enough
     The Agony and the Agony
     Sense and Insensibility
     Not-So-Great Expectations
     The Scarlet Pimple
     Where the Red Rash Grows
     Gullible's Travels
     The Old Man and the Seasoned French Fries
     The Sun Also Sets
     Much Ado About Not Very Much At All
     The Call of the Llama
     The Going Asleepening
     Blaine in LaLaLand
     For Whom the Bell Dings
     As I Lay Crying
     A Portrait of the Teacher as a Broken Old Man
     The Voyage of the Dawn Dreader
     One Hundred Years of Interruptions
     I Know Why the Caged Teacher Screams
     Around the Schoolyear in 180 Days
     Love in the Time of Allergies
     To Have Not and Have Not

Pick o' the Day: The One-Hundred-Dollar Tomato

A Very Short Gothic Horror Story

(with illustration)

     Over $100 sunk into the vegetable garden, and all I got was one stinkin' tomato!

The End