Pick o' the Day: Avatar is Anti-American! Part 2

     Shoot!  Twenty miles at least back to Austin to find one of them little red box deals to rent me and the little lady a movie!  By now I'm sure she's a wonderin' where I'm at and probably thinkin' I'm a dilly-dallyin'.  Hey, it wasn't my fault it took so long in H-E-B trying to find that dang cheddar cheese popcorn.  You never know where you'll find anything in those great big stores.  I mean, think about it for a minute.  Where are you goin' to find the microwave popcorn in a store that's bigger'n the town I was born in?  And not just any popcorn, mind you.  I shell out the big bucks for my little lady and get her the "gor-may" brand like Orville Redenbachers's (Note to the young-uns:  That's how you treat a lady!).  Course, I don't think there's anything wrong with Jiffy Pop (I guess I'm still old-school), but I get the little lady what she wants.
      I guess I was standin' there lookin' kinda stumped when some young 20-somethin' kid in a red H-E-B apron come up to me and asks if I need some help.  I almost back-handed him for being so presumptuous, but I didn't have time to make a scene, so I told him what I was lookin' for.  He told me to wait right there and he'd fetch it for me.  'For I knew it, he was back with the Orville Redenbacher's  and askin' me if there was anything else he could do for me.  He was startin' to bug me because I ain't no dad-burned invalid, you know.  He kinda slunk off, so I headed for the check-out line.
     So I finally got back on the road headin' for Austin.  It took me dam-near 2 more hours to get to the McDonald's and then back home on account of the distance and also the fact that I had a slight error in judgement by pickin' up a hitchhiker as I was drivin' through Maynor.  I don't want to bore you with the details, so I won't bother to tell you about how I see this young teen-age kid a standin' by the side of the road with his thumb in the air and a wearin' clothes that made me at first think he was a escaped clown from the Ringlings Brothers circus with his baggy pants hangin' down and his underwear a showin' like that and how he made this face when he first climbs into the cab like he never smelled a farm truck before and how he wasn't much for polite conversation on the way and how I told him I could take him all the way to Cameron Road like he wanted but I first had to stop at the little red box at McDonald's and how he kept lookin' like he was disgusted and finally how we got to McDonald's and when I got out to get the movie he jumped out the other side and took off a runnin' and how I ended up takin' the first movie that showed up on the screen (Avatar) and how I got back into my truck to find out that escaped clown had took my wife's Orville Redenbacher's.  I guess he was hungry.  Anyway, I figure this movie review has gone on long enough, so let me recap by saying that's why I believe Avatar is Anti-American.  Thanks a lot, James Cameron!

A quick shout-out to Eleazar and Joe for their comments on Part 1.  Thanks a lot, I think.

Pick o' the Day: The Movie Avatar is Anti-American! Part 1

     Okay, so we got this hankerin' to see a movie, so I fired up the old truck and headed over to Elgin (El - hard g - in) figurin' I could pick up one of them DeeVeeDees at Blockbuster.  I was makin' good time considerin' the truck was still loaded down with about 10 bales of hay (I thought I told the little wife to unload it the day before -- guess I'll have to get on her about that) when I see this sign alongside the road pointin' me to a yard sale.  I thought it couldn't hurt to check it out (you never know when you might come across some old tools) and dam-near lost the whole load when I took the turn a bit too fast and almost ended up in the ditch.   But I self-corrected in time, and before I knew it, I was stopped in front of some old lady's house.  My normal high spirits took a bit of a nose-dive when I saw that her yard sale looked a bit heavy on women's clothes, purses, children's junk, and knick-knacks.  Good luck finding some tools there, I thought.  I didn't even bother to get out of the truck, just jammed it into first and tore off in a cloud of dust.
     So now I get to comin' into Elgin, and what do I see but that big old Southside Barbeque sign just a beggin' me to stop and sit a spell.  I was in no particular rush, so I pulled in, and in no time at all I was sittin' there in front of a beautiful plate of sliced brisket and tater salad and sippin' on a glass of lemonade (they give you free refills on the lemonade, so it's a pretty good deal).  About a hour later, I'm walkin' out the door feelin' pretty much satisfied, but I felt like I needed somethin' else to to top it all off.  Lo and behold, there was a Dairy Queen right next door beckonin' me to come over and have a little ice cream and whatnot.  So, I finally get out of there feelin' pretty good and I remembered where I was originally headed, so I climbed back into the truck and got back on the road.  Before I knew it, I was pullin' into Blockbuster's parkin' lot (it wasn't no more'n a hop, skip, and a jump from  Dairy Queen).  And wouldn't you know it... it was closed.  Not just closed, but closed for good.  Out of business.  Shoot!  What's this world a comin' too?  It was probably the work of the Tallyban or something, you never know.
     So I sat there in the truck a thinkin' about what I'm goin' to do.  Since I keep pretty current on things, I remembered something about a big red box rentin' movies for just a buck a day over at McDonalds.  Course, that was about 20 miles the other way over in the outskirts of Austin.  Shoot!  Oh well, what else I got to do?  I can't go home empty-handed, cause then I'd have to face the wrath of the little lady.  Speaking of which, I thought I had better stop by at H-E-B and get her some of that cheddar cheese popcorn she likes when she sees a movie.  So before long, I was headed back towards Austin.

END OF PART ONE

Hey, a quick shout-out to a couple of readers of this blog who were the first ones to leave comments.  Thanks Joe!  Thanks Natalie!  And for the rest of you, don't be afraid to leave comments, good or bad.  Anyone who leaves a comment gets a shout-out next time!                   

OK, OK. I give up. I'll start writing a blog.

     As you can see, I have decided to start writing a blog.  I have resisted doing this for years and years for various reasons*, but I have finally caved-in to the pressure coming mostly from my son, Eleazar.  Once in a while I find him to be right about something, and his reasoning for me to do this seems sound.  He says I should stop talking about writing a book someday and actually start writing something (he says the only way to "keep my chops up" as a writer is to write on a daily/ weekly basis).  He says I should join the 21st century and stop resisting technological change (I bought my first I-Pod six months ago, used, from him).  He says I should take a bath (I don't know what that has to do with anything).
     So to show him and everybody else who has ever gotten on my case about how seldom I write anything, I am officially beginning my blog today.  It shall be called "Pickin' Blaine's Brain," and each new post shall be referred to as the "Pick of the Day".  I shall try my darndest to let you know what's going on inside my head as I try to relate to the crazy world around me.  I hope to do this in an informative and entertaining way, and I promise I will not be boring.  I promise to try to add new posts on at least a weekly basis.  You are invited to read what I write, and I encourage you to comment as you see fit.  And who knows what doing this might lead to?  Maybe I'll be nominated to join the prestigious Facebook organization and get my own page!  Who  knows?
     Anyway, this new journey of mine has now begun.  Until next time.   

* I am a long-time member of ACRONYM (the Anti-technological Change Resisting Oldguys' Never Yielding Movement - hey, give me back my chalkboard!).  I also didn't want anyone to think I was gay.